Navigating

A compass rose: this is something that I am lacking internally. A bit of navigation is needed, I've been feeling like I'm repeating the last five years like some horrific Groundhog Day-ish montage.

Okay, well, it may not be that bad -it's not like I've got the note written and have been saving up my pills for weeks -not at all, and shame on you for even thinking about calling my psychiatrist! I am generally happy and healthy and out and about, but I just feel like things are, well, lacking.

I'm not even *content* anymore -restless, annoyed, bored, itching for an adventure? That's more like it. Not mopey and depressed as my initial paragraph may suggest. Going to the same job, even though I like it well enough, and doing the same things every weekend do not an adventure make. Same friends, same parties, same drive, same lame taupe and beige existance.

So now that you've heard my whine, wanna hear what I plan to do about it?

Well, Bran's been going crazy as well. She hasn't found a job but luckily has some money. I suggested that she go on a road trip -yes, this is what I would rather be doing. No, I cannot go, I have my big-girl job and can't get the time off. But when it comes down to it, her journey will make things better for us no matter what happens. With both of us feeling stuck, there's not been much growth in our relationship and frankly we're annoying each other. If she goes and has her adventure than I can focus on what it is that I need to do to make me happy instead of worrying about her.

And I've been putting in applications like crazy to VAs all over: Seattle, Portland, San Fran, Chicago, etc. Why not? I don't have much money to move with, but what the hell, I'll figure it out. As much as I love Vermont and New Hampshire, it is not loving me right now.

As long as I have my dog, my car, a job, and a place to live, I'm good.

And if Bran happens to fit into the picture, all the better. But it's time for us to figure out what we want -not from each other, but from ourselves.